Chore Like You Mean It
Task 10, February 29 to March 7
I do not say this proudly, but for most of my adult life I was pretty damn lazy, especially when I wasn't paid to do something, i.e. errands and chores. I'd lie, plead, or fake an injury like a professional soccer player if I had to, but I didn't want to do anything that didn't involve a television set or golf club. Put it this way: I am the thriftiest guy I know (actually, not quite true--I have a friend who would re-use toilet paper if he could), yet I've paid a legion of people to mow my lawn, clean my windows, unclog my sink, clean my gutters, even fix my squeaky door. Thank God my old man wasn't alive to see me write the check that I wrote to a handy man to change out a doorknob. He would have strangled me, disowned me and wept, in that order.
My epiphany came a few years ago when I decided that the wood floors in our living room had to be re-finished (kids, dogs and spilled red wine had ravaged them), BUT I didn't have the money to pay someone to do it and I was all out of excuses and equivocations, so I rented a floor sander and polisher and went at it. After several days of backbreaking, lung searing, muscle-tearing work it was done, and it looked pretty good after we purchased a Persian rug to cover most of it.
But I felt empowered. So I took on a few more chores. I stopped cursing at the dog at walk time, and (gulp) bought a stud-finder. And then, almost karmically, I found a discussion on Reddit concerning a report that claimed that performing household chores has unexpected health benefits.
According to a study, people that took on do-it-yourself projects had a 30% lower risk of experiencing a first-time cardiovascular disease such as a stroke or heart attack as compared to those whom were highly sedentary.
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Even mowing the lawn has benefits. Researchers found that freshly cut grass releases certain chemicals which makes the people more joyful and relaxed. Now, mind you, I have never been joyful or relaxed when doing yard work, and it certainly didn't help my friend Larry, who died of a heart attack in his front lawn while pushing a mower. But putting Larry aside, (who smoked cigars and ate beef jerky between meals), it furthered my belief in the positive aspects of choring.
Over the last few years I have mowed, scraped, raked--and I dared to venture into my wife's turf--the laundry room--which didn't go over so well, for two reasons: 1) she thought I was suffering from some sort of chemical imbalance; and 2) I shrunk a blouse, which wasn't so bad, but the bleach stains on the towels, the sheets and a pair of her slacks that fit just right…
TASK:
Look around you, people. There are plenty of chores to do. Take them on, do them right, and feel the joy. Then send me an e-mail and let me know how it went. Oldpeoplethisweek@gmail.com