HO! HO! HO!
Task 49, December 20 to December 27
HO! HO! HO!
"The best way to spread Christmas cheer is singing loud for all to hear" - Elf
Ok, let's talk Christmas movies. Actually, we're not talking--I'm just going to list the best Christmas movies, sorted by type.
Best Christmas musical. No brainer--"White Christmas". The plot is Hallmark-esque: Danny Kaye saves crooner's (Bing Crosby) life in WW2 and uses injury to guilt Bing into becoming a duo--but the songs are fantastic—"Snow", "The Best Things Happen", and of course "White Christmas".
Best Christmas Comedy/Drama with the lamest plots: "Love Actually". Here are a few of the plot lines in this magnificently messed up movie: John and Judy are sex-scene stand-ins--sparks fly; woman with mentally challenged brother screws up relationship with office hottie; English nerd romps with FOUR American stunners; an English writer falls for a Portuguese house cleaner--who doesn't speak English. And the British Prime Minister falls for a staff member, who was sexually harassed by none other than the American President--BILLY BOB THORTON!
Best Hallmark Christmas Movie: Before I tell you I have to admit that I am addicted to Hallmark Movies--the cheesier the better. Last Christmas my wife bought me a pair of socks--on the sole of each sock is written: Leave Me Alone, I'm Watching Hallmark!. Drum roll please: my favorite is: "A Royal Christmas". The plot: a woman is preparing to spend the holidays with her boyfriend, who announces that he's heir to the throne of Cordinia! Hijinks ensue and love triumphs!
Cringiest Hallmark Christmas Movie: "Santa Switch". Sean Astin--RUDY!--plays an Elf. Nuff said.
CHECK OUT OUR PODCAST “OLD PEOPLE THIS WEEK” ON YOUTUBE, SPOTIFY AND APPLE PODCASTS
Best old school made for TV Christmas movie: "The Gift of the Magi". Hands down. No one does irony like O. Henry and this one is a doozy. I cried like a pre-teen who just dropped his phone in a toilet.
Best Christmas Movie that's an hour too long but tears me up every time: "It's A Wonderful Life". Bert and Ernie--what a hoot!
Best Christmas Movie scene: when Cousin Eddie throws a lit match near the Griswold's dry-as-a-bone Christmas tree in "National Lampoon's "Christmas Vacation".
Most Nostalgic Christmas movie: "Christmas Story". This one is close to my heart--after all, the opening scene is shot in downtown Cleveland--you can make out Halle's Brother's Department Store, where my mom and dad once took me at Christmas time--"On Halle's seventh floor we'll be waiting for you to turn the key..." Plus, when the dogs steal the turkey? Oscar material...
Best Christmas movie that should never have been made--"Christmas with the Kranks". Absolutely unwatchable. They managed to make one of the sexiest movie stars ever--Jamie Lee Curtis--look like a frump.
Ok, I could go on forever with this. I won't even mention "Jingle all the Way" with Schwarzenegger or "Fred Claus" with Vince Vaughn; so without any further delay, here is my personal, all-time Christmas movie favorite, and it's not "Home Alone", it's: "The Family Man", with Nicolas Cage and Tea Leoni. I can't explain it. It just nails me every year. My wife won't watch it anymore, and my kids ask me every year, "so who is Nicolas Cage again?" The plot is clunky and predictable, but when Cage sings to Leone at her birthday...magical.
TASK:
Gather the family, get some popcorn, put on a Christmas movie and, hopefully, shed a tear.