I Got This

Task 6, February 7 to February 14

“Find a nice, self sufficient hilltop, and fortify it”. John Wyndham

I have a friend named Wyatt. He's in his mid-60s, retired after 40 years in the aviation industry. He's been married for 35+ years to Susie, who'a nurse. They have three adult children, all of whom live in different states. So now it's just Wyatt and Susie at home, but this week it's just Wyatt, because Susie drove from L.A. to Sacramento to check in on her mother, who's 89 and mentally adroit but physically challenged.

When Susie is away Wyatt becomes mildly unmoored--he doesn't cook (he can construct a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, but the stove overwhelms him as he has never grasped how raw food is transformed into meals), nor can he work the washer/dryer, and he understands the concept of vacuuming, but Susie handles the floors and the $500.00 Dyson never leaves the hall closet when only Wyatt is at home; so our group of friends invite him over for dinner and send him home with left-overs, and his guy friends pick him up and take him out for beers, and I have, on occasion, stopped by his place to make sure he's not using the microwave to dry his pet poodle, Schnapps.

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Truthfully, I get annoyed with his inability to care for himself, but I check my tongue because at one time I was as absurdly lame as he is.

In my case, I was raised by my mother and my sister, who was ten years older than me and ran my life when my mother wasn't around, which due of her work schedule, was several hours a day.

The two of them made my life miserable, but they also spoiled me. Does that make sense? Think of it this way: they yelled at me if I didn't make my bed or help with the laundry or put my clothes away, etc., but they never let me do any of that because they thought I was inept at it. So they cooked, made my bed, cleaned up after me, did my laundry, made all the difficult phone calls, made sure I was where I was supposed to be.

I was "wombed" big time.

What the hell could I do? I shrugged, that's what I did. Needless to say I was unprepared for college, let alone life after college. And guess what kind of women I pursued? Yep, the ones that were like my mother and sister. Someone who would take care of me,

It was a mistake. I was a big baby: nurtured and incubated. I was weak, but I didn't figure it out until I met someone I really, really liked, and she dumped me cold after she figured out just how needy I was.

I was 25. After I cried and moaned and cursed I came to understand that I had to teach myself to be self-sufficient. I chose five tasks--five tasks that I had NEVER done before--and I taught myself how to do them.

The five tasks I chose for myself: 1) bake cupcakes; 2) sew a button on a shirt; 3) plant some tomatoes; 4) cook a dinner for five friends; 5) shop for a wedding gift for a co-worker.

I screwed them all up one way or the other. The cupcakes were horrible; I poked a needle into my thumb about 100 times trying to attach that damn button to my shirt; I planted five tomato plants in one little bucket when I should have just planted one, and none of them grew; I did cook a dinner for my friends--spaghetti, but the "homemade" sauce I tried tasted like 99 cent store ketchup; and giving condoms as a wedding present to my male co-worker was beyond tacky. But what the hell? I learned what NOT to do. And I tried again. And again. And eventually I got the hang of being self-sufficient.

And my spaghetti sauce is effing good.

TASK:

Look at the things that other people do for you. Write them down. Pick 5 and do them yourself. Take you time and finish each one.