What I'v Learned
Task 30, July 26 to August 1
"The beautiful thing about learning is that no one can take it away from you." B.B.King
Dave Berry is a very funny, smart columnist, and not coincidentally he's way smarter than me. Of course, most people are smarter than me, EXCEPT of course, if that person happens to be from Michigan. Next to your average Wolverine, I am a brainiac.
Many years ago Berry wrote down the "16 Things that Took Me Over 50 Years To Learn". Here are a few of them, which are genius.
1. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
2. There is a very fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness".
3. People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them.
4. Nobody cares if you can't dance well, just dance.
5. Never lick a steak knife.
Here's what I've learned over the past SIXTY years. (I've been around for more than 60 years, but in the early years I was basically clueless).
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1. If you wave at someone, they will usually wave back.
2. It may sound like a great idea to have a shot of schnapps as a final drink, but if you do, you will puke, pass out and probably do both in the county jail.
3. My parents were strict with me. I deserved it, and I'm secretly glad that they were.
4. I've learned that no matter where I've moved to, bad drivers follow me.
5. I've learned that "Yes" and "No" are perfectly acceptable answers to any question.
6. If your wife asks you, "does this look ok?", and if she is referring to something she's wearing, say "yes" and nothing else. Nothing.
7. Miniature horses are not ponies.
8. Pickles come from cucumbers.
9. Sometimes no sense makes sense.
And finally, to paraphrase a line from the movie "Rudy": I have learned to inconvertible facts in my life: there is a God, and I am not it...
TASK:
Write down on piece of paper: These are the things that took me ____ years to learn. Then write stuff down.