You Want Organized? I'll Show you Organized.
Task 36, September 12 to September 19
“I’m not a Bridezilla. Now shut up and do as I say”. Anon.
NOTE: This post requires a bit of a set-up. A little over a year ago I wrote a treatise about how important it is to be organized–specifically that the organization of one’s life is as important as cleanliness–and both are next to Godliness. I know this because I grew up in a home with the most organized person in the world, my big sister, who was ten years my senior and thus, in the absence of my mom, my defacto parent, and she (the tyrant Gerriann) kept the house in impeccable order and brooked no interference, or guff, from her charges: me and my brother Brad.
As well as vilifying my sister in the post I used the opportunity to goof on anyone born after 1964 (non-boomers) whom I gleefully excoriated for their lack of organizational skills, which of course implied that they were undisciplined slackers, or worse.
Well, recently I went through the comments on my Substack dashboard and found this note from a reader. It was written in response to the post mentioned above and it deserves to be shared. Enjoy:
DEAR JEFF. My name is Susan. My friends call me Suze. I am 23 years old. I graduated from Kent State last year and I think my dad knows you and he showed me this article you wrote because he thought it was funny. For the record, it’s not funny. I’ll send you a Tiktok video that shows a boomer dude clog dancing–that’s funny.
First, boomers are not all that organized. My mom is a boomer and her closet looks like the “irregular” pile at Goodwill. And my dad wanders from one room to another and says things to me like “do you know where my keys are?” Or, “do you know what my Apple password is?”
CHECK OUT OUR PODCAST, OLD PEOPLE THIS WEEK, ON YOUTUBE, SPOTIFY AND APPLE PODCASTS.
Second, I’m a Gen-Zer and we are organized. To the max. And I can prove it. My friend Lena had been dating Ben since 10th grade. He’s 24 and working in a brokerage firm in Chicago. He asked her to marry him last May, in Cancun. After he got up off his knee she called her mother, then started organizing the wedding. Before midnight that night she’d chosen her bridesmaids, researched a location for the bachelorette weekend (Ojai California) and selected the bridesmaid dresses. Puce, and ugly. But she likes puce.
The bachelorette weekend was fun if you liked Moscow Mules and you wanted to sit through several briefings on what your role in the wedding was going to be. I thought, ok, she’s nervous and wants everything to be perfect. I’ll be chill about it.
But as the wedding date got closer Lena only got crazier. And then last week I got this long text. It was titled BRIDESMAID’S DUTIES. Read this, Jeff. This is what organized looks like:
The Glam Guardian - Gena
Oversees hair & makeup timing for everyone AND keeps the entire morning's schedule on track. Makes sure no one wanders off when it's their turn for anything.
Why it matters: Prevents chaos, keeps vendors happy, and ensures you arrive at the aisle on time.
The Time Keeper's Sidekick -Suze
Works with the Glam Guardian to keep micro-schedule items (first look, robe pics, touch-ups) running on time.
Why it matters: Gives the Glam Guardian backup so the whole morning flows without a hitch.
The Calm Captain - Britta
Maintains peaceful vibes, handles behind-the-scenes hiccups (missing bouquet, late vendor), and shields you from stress.
Why it matters: You stay relaxed and glowing.
The Social Spark - Mae
Manages the "getting ready" playlist, keeps the mood fun, and works with the Phone Fairy & Content Queen to document fun behind-the-scenes moments for your private album and social media.
Why it matters: Keeps the energy high and captures the personality of the day, not just the posed shots.
The Phone Fairy & Content Queen–Sela
Holds your phone all morning, answers/filters calls & texts, and works with the Social Spark to capture behind-the-scenes photos, videos, TikToks, and Instagram content. Ensures special moments are documented without you having to touch your phone.
Why it matters: You stay fully present while still getting amazing candid memories and social media gold.
The Dress Whisperer (and Bathroom Bestie) - Delia
Fluffs your train, fixes the bustle, manages dress emergencies, and helps you navigate bathroom breaks in your big gown.
Why it matters: You look perfect, stay comfortable, and never face "how to pee" alone.
The Photo Fairy & Family Wrangler - Roxie
Coordinates bridal party and family photos, knows family members by name, calls them up for portraits, and keeps the must-have shot list on track.
Why it matters: Photos run quickly and smoothly, no one gets lost, and your photographer can focus on capturing magic instead of hunting for Uncle Joe.
The Room Reset Queen - Sarah
Keeps the bridal suite tidy for photos - removes clutter, hides water bottles, straightens dresses, and preps all detail items for the photographer.
Why it matters: Your getting-ready and detail shots look Pinterest-perfect, not messy.
The Lena Supervisor - Jenna
Keeps little Lena happy, entertained, and ready for her wedding duties, making sure she's fed, dressed, and smiling.
Why it matters: Ensures Sophie has a magical, stress-free day - and makes sure she is as adorable as ever!
The Bride's Wellbeing Wingwoman— Maxie
Makes sure you eat, drink water, and take bathroom breaks throughout the morning (and after the ceremony), while also assisting the Bathroom Bestie with dress navigation. Keeps snacks and hydration close at all times.
Why it matters: You stay energized, hydrated, and comfortable — with two people ready to handle dress and bathroom logistics smoothly.
Any questions, Jeff? I didn’t think so. Suze.
TASK: Be organized. Like a Gen-Zer..